Healthy Dissociation? Yes, it is a thing…

Put a finger down if you…

• Left a room to go into another room because you needed to do something or get something and you get to the other room and have no idea what you actually needed to do/get (doorway effect)
• Were on a commute you take regularly and reached your destination and can’t recall large chunks of your commute (highway hypnosis)
• Were ever in a full blown conversation and suddenly stop mid-sentence having no recollection of what you were talking about
• Have been doing something and drift off to a completely other stream of thoughts and after a few seconds are mentally pulled back to what you were originally doing/thinking/saying

In a Good Therapy article the author adds to this list to include: being so engrossed in what you were watching on TV (or scrolling through Tik Tok, IYKYK) you lost complete track of time and hours have passed; and disconnecting from sensations of needing to use the bathroom or take a lunch break due to tight deadlines at work.

It’s safe to assume you’ve put at least one finger down. In a recent conversation with my sister and best friend, we were talking about these phenomena and how frustrating (and scary) these events can be. They turned to me and asked, “why does this happen?”. I didn’t have a great answer other then these are forms of dissociation, everyone experiences some form of these, and they aren’t bad. I just couldn’t articulate why these moments are not bad. So I dug in an did some research now impart my learned wisdom do you, friendly reader.

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Dissociative Disorders

Before we discuss the healthier side of dissociation let’s briefly look at the clinical side of the disorder.

Dissociative disorders include: Depersonalization or Derealization; Dissociative Amnesia; and Dissociative Identity Disorder. These are disorders classified in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Heath Disorders (DSM-5). These clinical disorders can be: chronic, cause severe distress, and impact the person’s ability to carry out normal role obligations.

Dissociation can also be a symptom of other mental disorders such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Acute Stress Disorder, Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Autism. Dissociation is not required to be diagnosed with these disorders and not everyone with these disorders will experience dissociation. Dissociation within these disorders could be clinically significant or as means for the person to cope with the world around them and other symptomology of the disorder.

When Dissociation is Healthy

In a Fact Sheet from Orygen, they write “Dissociation is when there is a disruption in the usual way we piece together and connect to the different parts of our world. It can refer to a broad range of complex experiences, so it can be helpful to think of dissociation as on a spectrum or continuum. At one end there is a dissociative experience, such as daydreaming, that everyone experiences, which is common and healthy. At the other end is a highly intense, and often distressing, dissociative experience, which may involve completely disconnecting with reality or even one’s own identity.”

Medium contributor, The Autlaw, relates to the spectrum of dissociating, or “shutdowns”, in their article writing that this could look like retreating, going inward, and not saying much or not being able to move or speak. The later is on the more extreme side whereas turning inward and disconnecting from a moment or a conversation is normal. Among my closest friends I am the single-childless one (by choice, let’s normalize that!). Yet, when I am with them and they talk about marriages, children, etc I sometime drift off knowing I can’t relate and feel I have nothing useful to add which doesn’t necessarily make me feel bad but also can make me feel like I don’t fit in (which in itself is a trauma response thanks to #bullying).

In another Medium article, Antonieta Contreras discusses how dissociation can be healthy and not always related to a mental illness. They discuss how it’s adaptive, protective, and natural. They go on to point out that our brains are always working which can be extremely demanding and exhausting. “Dissociation is a very natural way to give those breaks to the brain, to save energy and to keep its effectiveness.”

As a person who has the worst memory, I am constantly judging and ridiculing my brain. What I really should be doing is re-frame this negative way of thinking (as I would encourage any of my clients to do) and think of why my brain won’t remember certain things — my brain doesn’t think it’s as important; it’s saving space for something else; it knows I’ve come up with techniques to help me not forget things I need to do; I have a high stress job that requires good recall so it wants to remember those things; it just needs a break.

A lot of times dissociation is associated with trauma — but it can also happen if a person is experiencing high levels of stress. Your brain may be dealing with pressures at work, home, or school — and they may be competing with one another — so when doing routine or rote tasks the brain chooses to take a break and rest.

When dissociation is associated with trauma it can be a part of protecting the person from distressing memories which can hold them back from moving forward. Some will say it’s important for the person to address the memories in order to fully heal from them; that should only be done when the person is ready. Going too fast in processing a trauma can lead to more harm including re-traumatizing the person and the increase of other symptoms. In my training we were taught to respect the therapeutic window; we want the client to keep it cracked and provide them a space where they can vent their emotions and maybe one day will open it completely. When they can only open it a crack, or perhaps not at all, it’s helpful for the person to work to be aware of their current surroundings and circumstances, learn how to ground themselves, so they can function at more optimal levels. Having a heightened sense of danger and awareness can be very helpful. Living in a constant state of hyper-arousal, however, can be debilitating with significant physical and mental impacts possibly leading to more severe dissociative disorders.

The next time you experience a moment of dissociation, consider why it is happening and know that it could be your brain’s attempt to rest, protect, and/or heal.

If you feel you are experiencing abnormal dissociation that would benefit from further assessment, therapy, and diagnosis — please reach out to your primary care physician, insurance carrier, or use SAMSHA’s treatment locator — https://findtreatment.gov/

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